Happy Friday Everyone!  Here are some wedding bloopers

My brain needs a few days break from wedding planning.  I don’t know about you, but sometimes family makes things so difficult.  As your planning progresses, you suddenly look back and realize that you are so far off from what you originally wanted because you have made so many concessions for other people.  Today, these jokes make me happy- enjoy!

Happy Friday!  In case you didn’t catch this on MSN, here are ten wacky weddings… There are lots of ways to make your special day stand out without spending a lot of money.

My fiance’s friends are very excited about his bachelor party, which to me, will somehow relate to this video:

Ladies, pole dancing is for bachelor parties, not weddings!

It’s the last day of the weekend and it’s time for another round of funny wedding jokes to make you smile. As you all know, our wedding blogs are not always serious. We also let our hair down once in awhile. So, I hope you will enjoy these wedding jokes as you enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Uncle Knows Best

‘Congratulations my boy!’ said the groom’s uncle. ‘I’m sure you’ll look back and remember today as the happiest day of your life.’

‘But I’m not getting married until tomorrow.’ Protested his nephew.

”I know,’ replied the uncle, ‘that’s exactly what I mean.

Secret of a Happy Marriage

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot, and not try to understand her at all.

The Shotgun Marriage

A couple goes out to dinner to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. On the way home, she notices a tear in his eye and asks if he’s getting sentimental because they’re celebrating 50 wonderful years together. He replies, ‘No, I was thinking about the time before our nuptuals. Your father threatened me with a shotgun and said he’d have me thrown in jail for 50 years if I didn’t marry you. Tomorrow I would’ve been a free man!’

I Believe In Miracles

A man, his wife and his mother-in-law went on vacation to the Holy Land. While they were there, the mother-in-law passed away.
The undertaker told them, ‘You can have her shipped home for £5,000, or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for £150.’
The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.
The undertaker asked, ‘Why would you spend £5,000 to ship your mother-in-law home, when it would be wonderful to have her buried here and spend only £150?’
The man replied, ‘a man died here 2,000 years ago, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can’t take that chance.’

The Wedding Deal

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer:

“Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I’m supposed to promise to ‘love, honor and obey’ and ‘be faithful to her forever,’ I’d appreciate it if you’d just leave that out.”

He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied. On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom’s vows, the pastor looked the young man in the eye and said:

“Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?”

The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, “Yes,” then leaned toward the pastor and hissed: “I thought we had a deal.”

The pastor put a $100 bill into the groom’s hand and whispered: “She made me a better offer.”

Saving All the Seats

A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, “Sorry, sir, but you’re only allowed one seat.” The man groaned but didn’t budge. The usher became impatient. “Sir, if you don’t get up from there I’m going to have to call the manager.” Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager.

In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, “All right buddy, what’s your name?” “Sam,” the man moaned. “Where ya from, Sam?” With pain in his voice Sam replied “The balcony.”

Wedding Dress Blues

When my sister Andrea got married, she asked to wear my mother’s wedding dress. The day she tried it on for the first time I was sitting with Mother in the living room as Andrea descended the stairs. The gown was a perfect fit on her petite frame. Mother’s eyes welled with tears. I put my arm around her.

“You’re not losing a daughter,” I reminded her in time-honored fashion. “You’re gaining a son.”

“Oh, forget about that!” she said with a sob. “I used to fit into that dress!”

Here’s a hilarious take on weddings from Russel Peters. The video below is about arranged marriages, which are still prominent in India, Islamic countries, and some parts of Asia.

The video below is about mixed-marriage and how different Eastern and Western wedding cultures are. Russel did a very funny Indian accent here. Though, his intention was to make us laugh, Russel’s real intention is to teach us to understand and respect the different cultures around the world for us to live in harmony.

So, that’s our wedding jokes for the week, hope you had a weekend blast. We’ll have great wedding savings tips and a lot of advices for you to have inexpensive wedding this coming week. Have a great week ahead.

Advice to the Newly Married Couple

At my granddaughter’s wedding, the DJ polled the guests to see who had been married longest. And it turned out to be my husband and I. The DJ asked us, “What advice would you give to the newly-married couple?”

I said, “The three most important words in a marriage are, ‘You’re probably right.’”

Everyone then looked at my husband. He said, “She’s probably right.”

The Wish

A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon an unusual old lamp. She picked it up and cleaned it off, and suddenly a Genie appeared. The amazed woman asked if she was going to receive the usual three wishes.
The Genie said, “Nope…due to inflation, constant downsizing, low wages in third-world countries, and fierce global competition, I can only grant you one wish. So…what’ll it be?”
The woman didn’t hesitate. She said, “I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other.”
The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, “Gadzooks, lady! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I’m good, but not THAT good! I don’t think it can be done. Make another wish.”
The woman thought for a minute and said, “Well, I’ve never been able to find the right man. You know, one that’s considerate and fun, likes to cook and helps with the housecleaning, is good in bed and gets along with my family, doesn’t watch sports all the time, and is faithful. That’s what I wish for…a good mate.”
The Genie let out a long sigh and said, “Let me see that map!”